Greetings My Witchy Readers,
As so often happens, I plan to write about one thing and something so much more important pushes its way into my thoughts, and tonight I want to end this year, with the lessons I have learned and how they have impacted my magickal and spiritual life.
Yes, the lessons I have learned. I spend so much of my time teaching and guiding others on their magickal path, answering questions and helping students, customers and clients find their way with challenges and various problems as they deal with the magickal, the spiritual and life's day to day issues, while trying to keep a steady foothold. I find myself, especially as this year comes to a close, looking back and finding I have experienced so many lessons myself, and as a teacher, and a teacher who is truly worth their salt, never, ever stops learning and growing. A teacher never stops receiving lessons from others, and from the universe. Myself, this year, the lessons were many, hard and fast, fierce and cold, harsh and in some cases, life changing.
As I grow older, I can see and appreciate how older people can get bitter, and cold. How they can get sarcastic and seemingly unfeeling, uncaring and how some seem to cut themselves off from the world. I think they may have had enough pain, and heartache, enough disappointment and betrayal, definitely enough let downs and broken promises. All of these, after a long enough life, without contrary perspective to offset them can make a person harder and allow their own personal darkness to seep in and to set up residence and it then becomes a constant companion. By the time that happens they have forgotten that they once had a light shining bright within.
I can see and appreciate how this can happen to some people, but I can also see how some choose to fight against that from happening. Yes, we have our dark moments, and our regrets at how we act at times, the hurtful words we might say or the things we may or may not do, but we all make mistakes and those that truly love us will understand and give us a second chance. If they loved us from the start. If not, then they never did and that is a good thing to know also.
So, as I make plans to say farewell to this past year, the year of 2017, there are some thoughts I wish to send out to the universe. For those who are meant to read these words they will, somehow see them. If they do not, then they were not meant to. It is as simple as that.
I suppose the following is a sort of amends, in a way both for myself to others and for others to me:
" To those I have interacted with this year. If we have come together with love and have ended the year with love, I have been so happy and grateful, so blessed to have had you in my life this past year. You have made my life better in many ways, some I can never put into words, but the feelings are in my heart, and I will love you for that, for making my life happier and more fulfilled. I will feel blessed if you continue to grace my life with your presence for as long as you are able.
For those who have left my life this year. If on your part there was betrayal, lies, deception and cruelty, if you sought to hurt and cause pain, if you went out of your way to forget the friendship we once had, understand that I forgive you and have no animosity towards you. I might not understand why you did what you did, and for some, I may indeed know, exactly why you did as you did, and that's okay. You had your reasons and I do not need to know or understand any further, I only send you love and light and I pray that the darkness you find yourself surrounded by, the pain you find yourself in, for I see that it simply mirrors what you tried to send out towards me and others. I hope that one day you find the light again, and are able to surround yourself with those who truly love you as you deserve.
For those I have interacted with this year, If there are any that I have said any harsh words to out of my own pain, or sadness, grief and anger for any reason, I do send my love and light and only ask that perhaps one day, you will choose to remember that I am also human, and should be allowed to make mistakes too. That when you say, or in some cases think, as some have kept so very silent, that I have changed or that you never really knew me, that you only knew parts of me, but never took the time to really know all of me, and simply assumed, that the face and persona you knew was all of me.
You see, there is a failing amongst humans. We simply desire to label and to box up people into neat, little packages. This way we think we know what we are dealing with. Yet, we inevitably find ourselves disappointed when we find the person we thought we knew, no longer fitting into the box we stuffed them into. The same goes for me and those I tried to put into boxes who in turn showed me, sometimes harshly and coldy who they really were and not who I thought they were.
So for those who believe me to be 100% liberal, you'll be surprised to find I have some strong conservative ideals, and for those who think I am just a heathen pagan you may be surprised to know I study both the Christian Bible and the Jewish Tanakh as well as other religious texts, and for those who know me, and that I try as often as possible to be a polite respectful lady, well they may be a bit surprised to find I fight like a vicious, foul mouthed demon when someone I care about is threatened or their existence in my life is put to an unwarranted death. But then their life should have been fought for and their death should have been screamed for in grief as if from a Banshee, and in one instance, this past year, it was. I was and am proud of that. I would never allow a friendship to leave my life quietly as if it did not matter to me. It mattered.
But I do not apologize for who I am, what I am, or how I feel. Whether I stumble one day or walk tall the next, I will never apologize for trying my best on any given day, with what is presented to me.
I have no animosity towards any other human, I only wish for people to find the happiness they seek. I do not apologize to those who I no longer allow in my life, for I won't have those in my life who will not treat me with the respect, the honesty, the integrity or the decency I deserve. If you are not able to keep your promises, if you cannot untangled the web of lies because they have become too numerous, if all you have in your interpersonal bag of skills is smooth talking, empty, hollow, transparent shiny words that have no meaning? Then I wish you well and good luck selling your goods elsewhere, as I only buy items of substance and integrity. I do not hold it against you, as I have learned, like in the ancient fable of the frog and the scorpion, I knew the scorpion was a scorpion all along. It was my fault if I allowed myself to be bit. I do not hold it against another, as it is only your nature. Nothing more.
I will not go into this next year with any hard feelings, nor with any grudges, nor with any dark energy or any sadness or grief. No animosity, or blame or finger pointing, or regrets. I am leaving it all behind, a bag of refuse to be taken out to the trash. Unneeded, unwanted and unnecessary. I only carry forth happiness, love and light, the good memories and a joyous heart. Forgiveness for what may have been done to me, and forgiveness for myself what I may have done in response. I do have a part in all that happens in my life, oh yes, I know that. I accept that, and I forgive myself more than anyone else, and you need to forgive yourself. That is the most important thing to move forward.
The lessons I have learned, are, I can look back on the happier times, the moments of learning, laughter, joy and fun, the times spent with people who may no longer be in my life, whether they were in my life for a mere year, or two, or four or nine and only remember the good times. The unhappy times? I have squeezed all of the life lessons from them and have discarded the rest. They no longer reside within me.
I do not have any misconceptions, or as one may say beliefs or ideas that any of those who have left my life will return one day. I do not believe this nor do I waste time or energy waiting for something that will not happen, nor should they. We are each moving on, and we should.
I truly believe and I have said this so many times. We each come into another's life for a time. Each relationship has a birth, life and a death, and whether that is the five minutes you spend talking to the clerk at a market while making your purchases or a life time with a family member, all relationships have a finite life span. When that life span comes to an end, it is over. So Mote it be. May the relationship that existed before the end be blessed.
Just as the life span of a year comes to an end. We, none of us can stop the year from ending, nor should we. Any more than we should try to stop a relationship from ending. So, even though you may think of that other person, remember the happy times. And if something like a weird computer glitch causes you to think that person has in some way tried to reach out to you, realize it most likely isn't true and let it go, let her go, or him go and above all else, allow the animosity and anger and sadness and grief to go. Simply delete and move on. Hopefully, for you, there is something better around the next corner. I know, there is something glorious around the corner for me!
Live in Light and Love, it is the only way.
May you have a Safe and Happy, Healthy New Year and remember to give thanks for the past year and all of it, the good, the bad and what you learned from it. Give gratitude and then leave it behind and move forward. In peace and in love.
Bright Blessings, Ms. Faith
Ms. Faith M. McCann 2017
© 2010-2017 Faith M. McCann. Portions of this blog posting may include materials from my book “Enchantments School for the Magickal Arts First Year Magickal Studies.” For more information, see www.enchantmentsschool.com or go to the title of tonight's discussion and click, it will link you to my school's website. Please note that the copying and/or further distribution of this work without express written permission is prohibited.
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